College is Over.

As of 9:06pm EST, I am a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science at Columbia University in the City of New York.  College is over.

Goodbye, bastion of integrity where people put what’s right before their shitty wants and desires. Goodbye, endless stream of beautiful, intelligent, wealthy, single girls with whom I have an automatic in as a member of the same elite institution.  Goodbye, setting the alarm for noon so as to make it to my appointed place of duty only ten minutes late.  Goodbye, $2751 of taxpayer-funded “allowance for housing” per academic month.  Goodbye, work assignments that are impeccably suited to my skill set, interests, and temperament, in which my excellence is a virtual guarantee.  Goodbye, freedom to turn all concern for the trials and tribulations of humanity on and off like a light switch. You will all be missed, sorely, longingly, and sometimes bitterly.

Jason Lemieux

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